#TrayvonMartin and the Porch Monkey Hunting Joke

Friends, don’t think I usually speak like this, but I wanted to bring to your attention a long standing “joke” in the Deep South. I remember receiving in my copy in 1994-5, and I have seen it since in various forms, with various states at the head. The idea that is is somehow justifiable to kill a young black man because it was done by another color is not a foreign one. We joke about it. We laugh about. We do it. We do it in video games; we do it on television. In jokes. Books. Sports. We do it in war. On death row. It’s easily done, with no remorse, and supported by society.

We have our excuses too. They look differently. They are crime ridden. They are less than human. These justifications excuse us.

The murder of Trayvon Martin is a symptom of a bigger, underlying disease in us. Below is the joke… the mentality which is prevalent for those who, like Glenn Beck, can coyly suggest that Trayvon had it coming (for breathing while being black). You don’t think these things play a part in the way we perceive these actions? Why then are protests happening in New York and not New Orleans or Tallahassee, Atlanta, or Richmond?

Due to the extremely cold and icy conditions and regional flooding of LOUISIANA game lands this past winter and early spring, breeding populations of most game animals are far below the normal limits for the upcoming hunting season. Therefore, the hunting of deer, rabbit, pheasant wild turkey, squirrels, bear, raccoon, and bobcat WILL NOT be permitted in the state of Louisiana during the 09-10 hunting seasons. However, Governor Bobby Jindal has provided by special decree, a substitute game animal to be hunted in order for the state not to lose license revenues and for hunters not to lose their woodland skills. 

Effective September 1, 2009 thru June 1, 2010 there will be an open season on porch monkeys (UNEMPLOYUS AFRICANAS) occasionally known as jigaboos, saucer lips, shines, jungle bunnies, spooks, ******, shadows, spear chuckers, bluegums, coons, deuces, spades, critters, blackies, splibs, tar babies and moon crickets.

The following regulations will be enforced:

1. Hunters may not hunt in parties of more than 50.

2. No single hunter may use more than 20 dogs.

3. There will be no hunting in areas considered to be game reserves such as welfare offices, food stanp distribution centers, liquer stores, Cadillac dealerships, pork rib sections of meat markets, ghettos or arenas where professional basketball is played.

4. Traps may not be baited with pork chops, fried chicken, collard greens, watermelon, cheap whiskey, Ripple wine or Air Jordan athletic shoes.

5. No more than 5 grams of crack cocaine are allowed to be used as bait per day, per hunter.

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8 Replies to “#TrayvonMartin and the Porch Monkey Hunting Joke”

  1. You know, now and then I wish I’d settled back in North Carolina, from whence my family originates.

    Then I remember why I didn’t. Thanks for the reminder.

    I hadn’t seen this one before, but I’ve seen things like it. And in recent days, I’ve seen people comment on the killing with such comments as “They’re killing each other all the time. Why does everyone suddenly care when it’s a white guy who did it?” and “How was Zimmerman supposed to know this wasn’t a bad guy?”

  2. Thank you for publishing this joke. I’ve never heard it before and even though its racial i laughed my ass off. It’s looks like mr. Zimmer man will have to pay a steep fine for hunting out of season.
    In the future why don’t you publish a commentary about the biased reporting of the news media. And how they use reverse discrimination tactics to make stories “newsworthy”. That is the real shame here!

  3. Why is he an idiot? Over the first part I guess I can see it, but the media has been extremely biased. Why not show a recent picture of the kid? He was 17 when he died, not 12 or 13.

  4. Its a shame anyone had to die, and the trial hasn’t taken place so everything that’s been reported up till now could be true or false. If the 17 year old was in fact on top of him slamming his head into the concrete, and that’s when he was shot, then so be it. Self defense is one thing, slamming someone’s head into the concrete shows intent to murder that person. If that’s not the case and he was shot for being just black, then that’s terrible. My point is that Trayvon was 17, not 12. Putting this picture up of a 12 year old is rather deceiving. Put a recent picture of him up. I’ve never seen a case of the media being so biased in my life.

  5. My apologies, I did not realize this was a Christian web site. It’s not quite the place for this sort of debate. I just came across the article and wanted to comment on the comments. Sorry again, I did not mean to be disrespectful.

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