The knowledge of Christ requires not an intellectual soul but a contemplative soul.
– Evagrius of Pontus, Gnostic Centuries
This is back when “gnostic” was an acceptable adjective for Christians. Still is, in my opinion. You can find his writings here.
Knowledge is excellent, for it cooperates with prayer to awaken the intellectual power of the mind to contemplation of divine knowledge.
We meditate and focus upon a great many things. Perhaps if what we focus on is indeed holy (other), then our outcome will be purer.
Such is the life of the ‘g’nostic.
I would encourage you to read Evagrius.