This year’s general conference is going to be another doozy. Well, actually, for me, it’s going to be a first time doozy because I haven’t experienced one before. I’m not going. I’m staying here. But, I’ll be watching.

But, after much consideration, I’ve figured a way how United Methodists could pull together and stop the fighting over stuff.

All it takes is to remove one line at of the Social Principles:

We affirm our long-standing support of abstinence from alcohol as a faithful witness to God’s liberating and redeeming love for persons.

Bam. Everyone gets to have a beer together, do what Luther died, and wake up  a few days later, after the conference, and everyone is so ashamed to look at one another that nothing but a prayer is said and a Eucharist offered. And they go home.

Might work better if they were in New Orleans tho….

And if that doesn’t work, someone should push for a new hymnal….

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