Green Eggs and (Adam) Ham(ilton)

Before beginning, I must, yet again, state that I am not a member of the WCA, or any other unofficial United Methodist caucus group. The WCA has been of course presented as the monster under the bed, but that is just plain lazy. The promise of scripture is that we will find what we seek. For those looking for a bad guy, I suppose the WCA is an easy target. That says more about the seeker than anyone else. Now, on to the fun.

I do not like your theology sham,
I shall not drink it, not a dram,
I do not like your ugly speech,
You frankly are not fit to preach.

I do not like the path you walk,
Your insults smell of my old sock.
Your way leads not on narrow path,
But I fear it may lead to wrath.

Accomplished you most surely are,
With membership that’s large by far.
Yet proverbs says that bragging is bad,
And a sure sign you are a cad.

You speak of harms based not in fact,
To try and throw us off the track,
A faithful witness we will be,
But you no longer that can see.

You speak of losing Holy Church,
That seems to put us in a lurch.
Yet gates of Hell still won’t prevail,
Despite the charges you assail.

You speak as if we do not love,
To keep you innocent as a dove.
But lies in darkness told will be,
Exposed in light for all to see.

American church you must make great,
It’s gold needed for your church gate.
But world wide always we remain,
Much to elites ugly disdain.

You can not see you might be wrong,
To loud is your adoring throng.
Activists twist the faith once told,
Lies told anew to pervert the old.

You say enforcement’s to our shame,
Yet Paul and John did much the same.
Restoration is the goal,
But absent that, you’re on the dole.

You mention money many a time,
The warnings in my ears do chime.
As Godly folks, we won’t be sold,
So not to become a people of gold.

You say some are of second class,
Yet head the warnings of Balaam’s ass.
While asses sometimes we may be,
To turn all away from sins great fee.

You say we have pushed people out,
In your mind of this there is no doubt.
But what we do is offer in,
Any willing to repent of sin.

You say disobedience will come,
Likely true this is of some.
But wrong to brag that you give away,
Vows taken on ordination day.

Emotions are your only appeal,
Made often with amounts of zeal.
Yet to live in love you must obey,
Jesus’ call to the narrow way.


You claim we do not live in love,
First duty to The One above.
Then love of neighbor is the rest,
With holy living which is best.

The path is back that you don’t like,
So you impale us on your pike.
Yet all you say is wrong we do,
Then done again, this time by you.

The end is nearing, that is sad,
Yet not a reason to be mad.
What now is clear for all to see,
You are now in bucket three.

The above is in response to the latest blog posting by Adam Hamilton. I have to be honest in saying that this was difficult for me to write. While I did not agree with his theology to put it mildly, I found his tone and rhetoric to be, frankly, childish. I was angry with much of what he said and had an original response that was full of that anger. I wisely hit delete as it did not really reflect what I felt was a righteous anger, just anger. I chose in stead to respond in a way suited to his rant, as a children’s book. The whole rant of Hamilton strikes me as childish. I did not get my way, so I will blame everyone and everything else. Ir seems to me the only thing he did not do is threaten to hold his breath until he got his way. Every single criticism he has made about the WCA, he has now engaged in himself showing that he is not intellectually, or morally consistent and certainly should not be held as an example to be emulated. 

The last thing that I wanted to briefly mention here is the parable of the Tax Collector and the Pharisee found in Luke. In reading Hamilton’s it came to mind as it struck me as a combination of two things. Bragging about holy accomplishments, and thankfulness he is not like those who disagree with him.  I am ok with being the tax collector. I think most of us are.

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2 Replies to “Green Eggs and (Adam) Ham(ilton)”

  1. Head of a Mega Church plus TV cameras equals “politician”, not minister. Wants to appeal to all the other political activists in the room, so he can look “cool”, “hip”, and “in” with the young crowd. If he is lucky, he might be able to manipulate his Mega Church into another Glide Church. Then he’ll have total control of both theology and the purse strings. Nice gig, if you can get it.

  2. I will say one thing about this conference versus the one in 2016. The tight control of the camera, microphone, and floor, kept the political activists from totally going crazy, and embarrassing UMC. I remember one activist started a shouting, abusive rant, and she was cut off after about 2 seconds. That was both good work in conference planning, and demonstrates that this type of person probably should not be a clergy member in UMC (assuming she is one – I don’t know). Shows activists tend to ignore rules (like the BoD), to push their agenda. That, in itself, is reason to support the Traditional Plan. I don’t want to be yelled at, or cross picket lines, to attend church. And I wouldn’t want to see anymore UMC Churches turn into Glide Churches, which is a real possibility.

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