Unsettled Christianity

Gloria Dei homo vivens – St Irenaeus
May 6th, 2015 by Joel Watts

Texas in God’s Eschatological Vision

In the late 1990’s, I had the chance to travel to Texas a lot. Rather, I took every chance I got to skip across the Sabine. I would leave noon on Friday after my last high school class and spend the weekend between Houston and Galveston. I loved Texas. I’ve driven across it at least twice, both ways. I’ve been to the border towns. To Austin. To the real Twin Cities. To the panhandle. I’ve been everywhere, man. I’m not saying I know the Texas people, but I am saying I spent a lot of time listening to Texans and to AM radio in Texas.

English: Seal of Texas

English: Seal of Texas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I would listen to AM radio all across Texas. Numerous times, I would hear this prophecy about Texas. This or that radio preacher would state plainly that Texas would be the last holdout against the One World Government of the AntiChrist (patent pending). There was this movement, the Republic of Texas, that promised to make Texas an independent and Christian nation to withstand the forces of evil.

In the last few days, it has become apparent that the Governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, is a moron — a loon. He has bought in to a bunch of conspiracy nuts who believe that the current President is going to invade Texas and imprison the patriots in closed Wal-Mart stores in a completely secret operation, Jade Helm 15. This is clearly a racist response to the current President.

But, it is not. Abbott is maintaining an almost official Christianity of Texas official dogma. I maintain Abbott and the “conspiracy nuts” are not acting in response to President Obama but out of a system of religious belief wherein in Texas is the Holy Land at the End of Time (copyright, 70CE). What they see is the End of Days (also a movie) wherein Texas is going to be the last holdout — therefore most things are seen as a move against Fortress Texas.

No, I’m not kidding you. There are “prophecies” about this. Although there are some that see these militia movements as part of the One World Government of the AntiChrist (patent pending). Even Mormons are in on it. There seems to been a red heifer born in Texas, validating all the claims of a New Jerusalem (er, Houston?). There are those who take seriously those signs in Texas and others who have to write to say that it just isn’t time yet. And there are some who see Texas being punished for being an American state. “Global warming is real and it is the punishment you get for being an American!”

And let’s not forget about Rick Perry’s Call for Prayer.

The pastors told Perry of God’s grand plan for Texas. A chain of powerful prophecies had proclaimed that Texas was “The Prophet State,” anointed by God to lead the United States into revival and Godly government. And the governor would have a special role.

Governor Rick Perry of Texas speaking at the R...

Prophet or Governor? Rick Perry of Texas speaking at the Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. Please attribute to Gage Skidmore if used elsewhere. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And some “apostle” has declared very recently that Texas is, again, to be the center of the stand against the Antichrist (R).

For the past several years, a spiritual war has been raging over Texas and intercessors, five-fold ministers led by the apostles and prophets have joined forces to fight…Much of the spiritual warfare can be accredited to the statewide effort of My warriors who kept the battle front raging and who fought tirelessly to overcome the biggest and the worst principalities of this state. As a result, there will be numerous shifts coming to Texas; there will be well-known global corporations that will move their headquarters to this state. Businesses and professionals from Hollywood will relocate to Texas, as well as those who produce and star in the movies…I also heard the Lord say one of the ruling principalities over Texas is disunity.

It is not that Greg Abbott is crazy or locked into supporting wingnuts. Rather, these people see everything happening in and to Texas in an eschatological light.  They (liberals, Democrats, some Republicans, Hollyweird, reporters, the United Nations, public school teachers, taxpayers, Target shoppers, and non-sovereign citizens — and maybe fans of Star Wars) are coming for them in a last desperate/first strike attempt to institute the One World Government of the AntiChrist (patent pending). They aren’t conspiracy nuts. They are religious zealots.

And just for fun…

Joel Watts
Watts holds a MA in Theological Studies from United Theological Seminary. He is currently a Ph.D. student at the University of the Free State, analyzing Paul’s model of atonement in Galatians, as well as seeking an MA in Clinical Mental Health at Adams State University. He is the author of Mimetic Criticism of the Gospel of Mark: Introduction and Commentary (Wipf and Stock, 2013), a co-editor and contributor to From Fear to Faith: Stories of Hitting Spiritual Walls (Energion, 2013), and Praying in God's Theater, Meditations on the Book of Revelation (Wipf and Stock, 2014).

Comments

10 Responses to “Texas in God’s Eschatological Vision”
  1. Keith Caldwell says

    Texas? Are they connected to Mexico?

  2. I have also long felt that Texas was the Promised Land. But the Abbott thing is nutty.

  3. “They are religious zealots.” to quote Joel.
    But to connect to your Maccabee study, one man’s nut is another man’s patriot. When the governor of Texas starts throwing his intestines at people, I’ll worry. Or see a Texan spit out BBQ’d pork, and rather die than eat it. Then I will know the end has arrived! Although I have to admit that it is scary that these crazy people can buy as many guns as their heart desires, and actual “open carry” in churches and colleges in some states. I guess we get what we deserve in terms of crazies. All I can say, is keep voting Republican, and mumble under your breath, “the end is near!” I noticed the crazy Mormon’s web site, he had a dream. A retired sheriff, and an intelligence type in the military during Vietnam… I can’t figure out this world. Of course, his dream may have been a scam to sell gold and bomb shelters. Mormon’s have a reputation (I saw it myself), where unscrupulous members will take advantage of gullible members to make a quick buck.

    • Part is the mind set, that establishes paranoia, is the whole, “year’s supply of food” thing. That starts making people very uneasy about civilization. May be a good idea, but it makes some of them become flat-out crazy. Especially the old time Utah types.

  4. I’m going to assume that all comments thus far have come from non-Texas residents. The most popular bumper sticker in TX is this: “I wasn’t born in TX, but I got here just as soon as I could.” Joel–you have an inkling of what that is about, don’t you? But…I will also have to honestly admit there are some crazies in our Lone Star state. If I may be so blunt…we respect the 1st Amendment (even when it is egregious, and often it is…)…and in the case of the two misguided young men from CO who came our way to do harm to our people in north Texas this week, they found out we also respect the 2nd Amendment.

  5. As seen in a small West Texas town, on the road to Utah:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hmyuE0NpNgE

    • I should admit that I stole this Monty Python bit from Bart Ehrman, who does a good job of explaining why he found it so offensive when he was a Fundamentalist. And why he left Fundamentalism.

      http://ehrmanblog.org/brian-and-the-apocalyptic-jesus-parts-1/

      And why I would not label myself “progressive” or “liberal”, but say I cannot be a Fundamentalist. I would say I find the third apocalyptic preacher in the video to be closer to Hosea, and a Fundamentalist. He simply doesn’t make sense. I flat-out reject the notion that the Northern Kingdom of Israel was destroyed by the Assyrians because of unfaithfulness to YAHWEH, and sin. I reject the idea that the Southern Kingdom of Judah was destroyed by the Babylonians because they were unfaithful and sinful. If that means some people think I am not a Christian, then so be it. Then they are playing the Hosea card, I’m “Not Their People”. If you believe Hosea, YAHWEH was a pretty mean guy, giving the Jews the “Not My People” treatment. I reject the idea of some fundamentalist Christians that the Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans because the Jews didn’t accept Jesus. Actually, if you believe Josephus, Jerusalem and the Temple were destroyed because some radical fundamentalists violently took over, and refused to compromise with the Romans. And I reject the idea that Texas would be attacked in some biblical prophecy as ridiculous. I have some sympathy for Gnostics in the 1st century, because they had the common sense to reject some of the OT (although I reject some of it as simply silly, unlike the Gnostics, that thought YAHWEH was evil). I remember the UMC church I go to, a Jewish synagogue, and a Muslim group, got together many years ago, and had a joint presentation on mutual reconciliation. So I guess the UMC church I go to might be called progressive by some people. But I find that better than going around like Hosea, and saying my own members are “Not My People”. So I might conclude by saying that Fundamentalists give priority to the OT. Progressives (whatever they are), give priority to the NT. Of course, there’s always exceptions, like Revelation, which is an outlier. But if the UMC ever splits, it will be because the Fundamentalists find the progressives “Not My People”, much like the crazy apocalyptic Texans find Obama “Not My People”.
      So, if you are a Fundamentalist, you can use this against everyone that disagrees with you…
      Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall bear her guilt; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword; their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.”
      Personally, I reject this, and if that makes me a non-Christian, then as Picard says, “Make it so!”

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