I’m telling you, there’s a lot of weak vessels, silly women, out there, who ungodly men lie in wait for. Am I controlling for keeping my woman away from these evil men? Then so be it. Yes, I am in control, but I love my woman enough to grant her freedom of thought and expression. She is as intelligent as I am, but still the weaker vessel, due to her willingness to surrender and submit to a man who takes charge. Ask yourself, how many men adopt the interests and beliefs of their wives? None. How many women adopts the interests and beliefs of their husbands? They are in abundance. It is clear that a woman submits to a man who rules her, even to the point of abuse, I’m sad to say. Therefore a Christian man is told to love his woman as himself. What man would abuse himself? He may abuse drugs or alcohol but not himself.
As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on this reasoning, we have shunned a standard proposal and wedding ceremony, because if I had asked her to marry me (which I did not) then I would have given her the decision to marry me rather than selecting her and taking her myself. Furthermore, if we had exchanged conventional marriage vows, our union would have been based on X’s will and consent, which are not Biblical factors for marriage or salvation. Instead, I asked X’s father for his blessing in taking her hand in marriage. When he gave his blessing, X and I considered ourselves to be unbreakably betrothed in the sight of God. While we had initially intended to consummate our marriage after today’s symbolic ceremony, we instead did so secretly after private scripture reading, prayer, and mutual foot-washing.
As far fetched as that sounds, Vyckie Garrison has more statements made by those who are looking for a more ‘biblical marriage.’ Honestly, this is destructive not just to the women, but to the men as well. I could go on, but I won’t. Take a read and try to understand what “plain reading” and “literalis,” can lead too. Try to understand how by not speaking up, these people become the voice of Christianity.
Recently, during private conversations, I believe that I have identified two separate understandings/movements of Quiverfull. One supports large families, and acknowledges that it is not for everyone, seeing it as a call. Further, this group are interspersed among various denominations and congregations.The husband-wife relationship is not a master-slave relationship, but a Traditional understanding of family headship.
The second group are better called the Patriarchal Quiverers which has an extreme view of the husband-wife relationship, and extreme view of the intrusion of society (such as medicine), and an extreme few of large families – taking literal the charge in Timothy about child-bearing.
I didn’t know if I wanted to post this or not, but since it does have something to do with religion, I figured I might. (I always enjoy a good conversation.) While speaking with our midwife the other day, she informed us of the dangers of this many children (no, 3 should be about enough for us). Some of the extreme dangers of Quiverfull, which is a movement located generally in the United States, include death to the mothers – but there are also extreme views on the relationships between the husband and wife.
I have watched, a little, of the Duggers on TLC, and have not see the extreme views of what other women in this movement have described, but it is still disconcerting, at least for my wife and I, to learn of the dangers of this many childbirths.
As a reminder, the Quiverfull movement is limited to the United States, and is new – by that alone, I question it’s merit to be called a Christian movment.
In the last week of June, two different circles of blogs invested in the Quiverfull movement—both as critics and supporters of the pro-natalist, patriarchal, conservative Christian lifestyle—focused on the sad news of the death of one Quiverfull mother’s child shortly after birth. The woman was Carri Chmielewski, author of the now-private blog “Carri Me Away,” where she described her Quiverfull lifestyle, eschewing contraception, having as many children as God gave her, submitting to her husband’s leadership, and, in a related conviction common among Quiverfull adherents, her plans to deliver her children through unassisted childbirth—a home birth with no doctors, nurses, or midwives to help her and her husband through labor and aftercare.