10 Comments

  1. Gary

    Some ways to fix the UMC:
    1. All sermons, and anything said from the pulpit, must be in Latin. That way, we re-institute formal liturgy, guarantee anyone preaching from the pulpit is classically educated, and no one in the audience will no what the hell they are saying. If you don’t understand it, you can’t complain about it.

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    1. Gary

      Of course, the official version of the bible will only be the Vulgate. In Latin, of course. Makes inerrancy become a real chore.

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    2. Gary

      No=know, too early in the morning, and I don’t know how to edit.

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  2. No, Joel, I think the set-aside bishop ought to be someplace in Africa, like Liberia or Zimbabwe or Mozambique. That way, we’d quit whining about first-world inanities and get real about the world’s suffering.

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  3. Gary

    Joel said “We need to incorporate more prayer, especially in relation to the communion of Saints.”
    I suggest they re-institute the Agape Feast. Combination Eucharist and potluck. This was the cause of the first, great schism. Just make sure that there is enough food and drink for everyone. No one will leave, even if they disagree.
    Reference info:
    1 Cor 11:18 For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that divisions exist among you; and I partly believe it. 19 For there must be also factions among you, that they that are approved may be made manifest among you. 20 When therefore ye assemble yourselves together, it is not possible to eat the Lord’s supper: 21 for in your eating each one taketh before other his own supper; and one is hungry, and another is drunken. 22 What, have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and put them to shame that have not?

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  4. I would love to see Gary’s suggestion implemented anywhere. A real Communion would be an amazing and awesome thing.

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    1. Gary

      Except under the Frivolous Friday banner, I was just joking.

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