Domestic Discipline – If your wife back talks…

This website is intended to be a haven for married couples who practise safe and consensual Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), or for those who would like to learn more about CDD. It is intended to provide support and encouragement for those who believe in traditional Christian marriage, with the husband as the head of the household, and the wife as his helpmeet.

This website is intended to provide a refuge for those interested in a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage. Here they might find information and share fellowship with other CDD couples without having to wade through pornography, warped practises, or distorted ideals of what we believe God created for marriage. This site is not the typical “spanking” site prevalent on the web. This site focuses mainly upon improving marital relationships by sharing the guidelines and marital roles listed in God’s Word.

And then

The discipline of a master/husband is not based on hitting with fists or fighting in general and in fact is potentially to help avoid improper male aggression and abusiveness of that sort. Instead, the husband has the right to thoughtfully use Biblical chastising to help correct his wife, arguing that it cannot be abuse since God gives merit to human leaders using discipline in the outwork of authority. If authority is to exist at all, the DD (persons using domestic discipline) reasoning goes, it must have consequences to be genuine and not merely a sham. Keep in mind that this is all in the context of a Christian Marriage.

And you know what, it’s not abuse if it is done in God’s name…

In DD terms, it generally would mean any physically harmful hitting. Discipline is FOR the person’s ultimate good, while abuse brings harm to the person.

Read the rest of this garbage – and hope that this is Poe’s Law.

Post By Joel Watts (9,925 Posts)

Joel L. Watts holds a Masters of Arts from United Theological Seminary with a focus in literary and rhetorical criticism of the New Testament. He is currently a Ph.D. student at the University of the Free State, working on the use of Deuteronomy in the Fourth Gospel. He is the author of Mimetic Criticism of the Gospel of Mark: Introduction and Commentary (Wipf and Stock, 2013), a co-editor and contributor to From Fear to Faith: Stories of Hitting Spiritual Walls (Energion, 2013), and Praying in God's Theater, Meditations on the Book of Revelation (Wipf and Stock, 2014).

Website: → Unsettled Christianity

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19 thoughts on Domestic Discipline – If your wife back talks…

  1. Joel, I have been really giggling. You do realise that this is a Christian S&M site. :)

  2. Sadly it is really. CDD is rather common in circles within the United Pentecostal Church, International. Also I have been exposed to this on a variety of levels within the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches as well.

  3. Yes, I noticed it a few years ago. Obviously some of the couples were really getting off on it, but two cases were really sad.

    One was a woman who was totally crushed and humiliated by the constant spankings adminstered in the bedroom even during the day when the kids were awake, although in another room. She sounded as if she was quite depressed, as one would expect.

    Another case was where the husband had a case of carpal tunnel syndrome (or something like that) and really had to be coaxed into administering the spankings as a prelude to sex. He sounded pretty worn out.

  4. Oh good heavens! The things that are endorsed or done with “Christian” tacked on are absurd.

    “It is intended to provide support and encouragement for those who believe in traditional Christian marriage, with the husband as the head of the household, and the wife as his helpmeet.” ppfffttttt

  5. ANY suggestions (from anyone!) where to find a man who believes in CDD would be GREATLY appreciated. Any dating sites out there? I’ve visited some sites, that needless to say were on the “undesireable” side of things. I know this is the right lifestyle for me, but am at a loss of where to meet a man (I am in my early 40′s).

  6. Back when my wife and I began dating, the practice that would later become know as “domestic discipline” was simply known as spanking. It was something parents almost always did to children, that boyfriends sometimes did to girlfriends, and that husbands were unofficially permitted to do to their wives. It was simply understood that difficult females never got too old for a spanking.

    Except in instances involving egregious abuse, police did not become involved. Incidental bruising where a woman sat down was not seen as inherently abusive in an age in which were couples expected to privately work out their differences so that their marriages would last for the benefit of society.

    Children generally learned that women could sometimes be spanked by observing and listening to the interaction among older relatives. There were also instances on black and white television and in movies of the day portraying a badly behaved woman over the knee of a man. Although the common spin these days is that onscreen spanking was Hays Code-era sex, the truth is less titillating. Spanking sent a message that there were certain bounds of behavior that were not to be crossed by the fairer sex.

    Although not necessarily commonly practiced, spanking was so acceptable in pre-Sexual Revolution society that my wife and I actually discussed it once we realized that we were falling in love. As a result of our forthright exchange, my wife revealed that she expected to be bent over and soundly spanked for adolescent behaviors whether on a date or at home.

    While chivalry was not universally practiced among couples, it was generally understood that male prerogatives in disciplining females were to be exercised for purely platonic purposes. A female’s vulnerability was not to be exploited gratuitously. Then, as now, that was rape. Although it may seem quite naive these days, walking this fine line laid the foundation for the trust necessary for marital longevity. Nor, might I add, was my wife the only woman of her or her mother’s generation to marry a man after he pulled down her pants and spanked her. Rather than being considered abuse, the initial embarrassment and subsequent unpleasantness was seen as a manifestation of love.

    Although not necessarily cause and effect, marriages became more transient as wife spanking declined. Trust between men and women also descended into the proverbial basement. as marriages became expendable. Along the way, cohabitation and serial monogamy have been elevated to be the equal of marriage. Yet, despite the current trend, there are couples to be found here and there that believe in traditional marriage in which wives willingly promise to obey with the understanding that there will be unpleasant consequences for disobedience. The ancient practice continues. Only the name has changed.

  7. Wow! There are so many people that just don’t get it! CDD is a choice. A choice by both husband and wife! and to be quite frank, it is only their business how they live that choice in life. My wife and I have lived a DD life for most of our 8 years of marriage and we are closer than most of the couples we know. It is a choice we both made and are still making.

    Judge not lest ye be judged.

      • CDD is a misnomer. Since the practice is no means confined to Christianity, it more traditional than Christian. It just happens than, almost by definition, those of faith tend to be conventional. Furthermore, the Bible is – for the most part at least – a man’s universe. Women are merely along for the ride in a Bronze Age me-Tarzan you-Jane world.

        Even more interesting, various verses in the Bible reveal fixation with reproduction to the extent that sexual acts not likely to lead to conception are either unclean or sin. This attitude toward women is so ingrained in the Christian tradition that an examination of both 17th century Catholic and Protestant literature reveals the notion that any woman not producing as many children as possible is a murderess! Even as late as the early 20th, white women in the United States were expected to produce at least four children!

        Not surprisingly, the above chauvinism spawned the rise of feminism. The ensuing battle of the sexes on steroids still reverberates on the political campaign trail preceding the 2016 presidential election year. Putting women n their place is also playing out in the war over abortion, morning after pill, birth control, and even how much a woman’s labor in the workplace is worth.

  8. I would have to disagree with at least the first portion of your comment. Paul the apostle said that a couple, after spending time apart seeking to be closer to God, should come back together that they would not be tempted to sin. He didn’t say to come together and make babies.

  9. We live a Domestic Discipline life and we are very happy. We have a website too

  10. It is not supported. I as the wife WANTING this in my marriage and bringing this to my husband when we started over 20 years ago researched churches and still do. I was raised in a CDD home and my parents had the BEST marriage! It is very popular in the UK but it is not particular to ANY religion and the UPCI does NOT support or recognize. If you do not believe me, ask them. Call a few churches and speak to the minister of that church and you will see I am telling the honest truth.

    In Christ,
    Shirley

  11. I am, and I assure you that if it is being practiced it is very quietly done.

  12. It is not a Christian S&M site. It is a site for folks that truly believe in Christian Domestic Discipline. It is not about sex but about everyday living. I know this because my husband and I practice. There is no bondage. There is no collars or ball gags or anything like that. We have rules in our marriage and yes, if need be I am disciplined in a very loving nurturing way. It has brought us close together and we NEVER argue and have a great sex life. We cherish our marriage and each other and even if he is upset with something or I have broken a rule and am to be disciplined, again it is always done lovingly and private.

    If you wold like to know more, I would have no problems answering any questions. It is bothersome when folks blast something they have never tried, or even worse form an opinion on something they really know very little about. Again, any questions you would like answered, I will gladly do so. I have NEVER been abused and truly believe in being obedient to my husband. I love that he puts me and our children first and always will. I love that I can go to him with ANYTHING and know he will figure it out. He is a leader by nature and I follow his lead. It is very harmonious to say the least. We have great marriage, lots of love in our home and do conduct a Bible study in our home. While this is not practiced at large, there are a few members of our church that believe in CDD as well and do practice. Again, if you have the facts and post, then so be it, but I kind of felt beaten up after reading this and really wanted to correct the Christian S&M comment!!

    Best wishes on where ever life leads you.

    In Christ,
    Shirley Stanley

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