Domestic Discipline – If your wife back talks…

This website is intended to be a haven for married couples who practise safe and consensual Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), or for those who would like to learn more about CDD. It is intended to provide support and encouragement for those who believe in traditional Christian marriage, with the husband as the head of the household, and the wife as his helpmeet.

This website is intended to provide a refuge for those interested in a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage. Here they might find information and share fellowship with other CDD couples without having to wade through pornography, warped practises, or distorted ideals of what we believe God created for marriage. This site is not the typical “spanking” site prevalent on the web. This site focuses mainly upon improving marital relationships by sharing the guidelines and marital roles listed in God’s Word.

And then

The discipline of a master/husband is not based on hitting with fists or fighting in general and in fact is potentially to help avoid improper male aggression and abusiveness of that sort. Instead, the husband has the right to thoughtfully use Biblical chastising to help correct his wife, arguing that it cannot be abuse since God gives merit to human leaders using discipline in the outwork of authority. If authority is to exist at all, the DD (persons using domestic discipline) reasoning goes, it must have consequences to be genuine and not merely a sham. Keep in mind that this is all in the context of a Christian Marriage.

And you know what, it’s not abuse if it is done in God’s name…

In DD terms, it generally would mean any physically harmful hitting. Discipline is FOR the person’s ultimate good, while abuse brings harm to the person.

Read the rest of this garbage – and hope that this is Poe’s Law.

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Joel L. Watts
Joel L. Watts holds a Masters of Arts from United Theological Seminary with a focus in literary and rhetorical criticism of the New Testament. He is currently a Ph.D. student at the University of the Free State, analyzing Paul’s model of atonement in Galatians. He is the author of Mimetic Criticism of the Gospel of Mark: Introduction and Commentary (Wipf and Stock, 2013), a co-editor and contributor to From Fear to Faith: Stories of Hitting Spiritual Walls (Energion, 2013), and Praying in God's Theater, Meditations on the Book of Revelation (Wipf and Stock, 2014).

69 thoughts on “Domestic Discipline – If your wife back talks…”

  1. Sadly it is really. CDD is rather common in circles within the United Pentecostal Church, International. Also I have been exposed to this on a variety of levels within the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches as well.

  2. Yes, I noticed it a few years ago. Obviously some of the couples were really getting off on it, but two cases were really sad.

    One was a woman who was totally crushed and humiliated by the constant spankings adminstered in the bedroom even during the day when the kids were awake, although in another room. She sounded as if she was quite depressed, as one would expect.

    Another case was where the husband had a case of carpal tunnel syndrome (or something like that) and really had to be coaxed into administering the spankings as a prelude to sex. He sounded pretty worn out.

  3. Oh good heavens! The things that are endorsed or done with “Christian” tacked on are absurd.

    “It is intended to provide support and encouragement for those who believe in traditional Christian marriage, with the husband as the head of the household, and the wife as his helpmeet.” ppfffttttt

  4. ANY suggestions (from anyone!) where to find a man who believes in CDD would be GREATLY appreciated. Any dating sites out there? I’ve visited some sites, that needless to say were on the “undesireable” side of things. I know this is the right lifestyle for me, but am at a loss of where to meet a man (I am in my early 40’s).

  5. Back when my wife and I began dating, the practice that would later become know as “domestic discipline” was simply known as spanking. It was something parents almost always did to children, that boyfriends sometimes did to girlfriends, and that husbands were unofficially permitted to do to their wives. It was simply understood that difficult females never got too old for a spanking.

    Except in instances involving egregious abuse, police did not become involved. Incidental bruising where a woman sat down was not seen as inherently abusive in an age in which were couples expected to privately work out their differences so that their marriages would last for the benefit of society.

    Children generally learned that women could sometimes be spanked by observing and listening to the interaction among older relatives. There were also instances on black and white television and in movies of the day portraying a badly behaved woman over the knee of a man. Although the common spin these days is that onscreen spanking was Hays Code-era sex, the truth is less titillating. Spanking sent a message that there were certain bounds of behavior that were not to be crossed by the fairer sex.

    Although not necessarily commonly practiced, spanking was so acceptable in pre-Sexual Revolution society that my wife and I actually discussed it once we realized that we were falling in love. As a result of our forthright exchange, my wife revealed that she expected to be bent over and soundly spanked for adolescent behaviors whether on a date or at home.

    While chivalry was not universally practiced among couples, it was generally understood that male prerogatives in disciplining females were to be exercised for purely platonic purposes. A female’s vulnerability was not to be exploited gratuitously. Then, as now, that was rape. Although it may seem quite naive these days, walking this fine line laid the foundation for the trust necessary for marital longevity. Nor, might I add, was my wife the only woman of her or her mother’s generation to marry a man after he pulled down her pants and spanked her. Rather than being considered abuse, the initial embarrassment and subsequent unpleasantness was seen as a manifestation of love.

    Although not necessarily cause and effect, marriages became more transient as wife spanking declined. Trust between men and women also descended into the proverbial basement. as marriages became expendable. Along the way, cohabitation and serial monogamy have been elevated to be the equal of marriage. Yet, despite the current trend, there are couples to be found here and there that believe in traditional marriage in which wives willingly promise to obey with the understanding that there will be unpleasant consequences for disobedience. The ancient practice continues. Only the name has changed.

    1. I am a wife of 30 plus years who has always accepted this kind of marriage and the spankings that went with it. We are very happy. The kids never knew. These days it does seem like it must be kept secret..

  6. Wow! There are so many people that just don’t get it! CDD is a choice. A choice by both husband and wife! and to be quite frank, it is only their business how they live that choice in life. My wife and I have lived a DD life for most of our 8 years of marriage and we are closer than most of the couples we know. It is a choice we both made and are still making.

    Judge not lest ye be judged.

      1. CDD is a misnomer. Since the practice is no means confined to Christianity, it more traditional than Christian. It just happens than, almost by definition, those of faith tend to be conventional. Furthermore, the Bible is – for the most part at least – a man’s universe. Women are merely along for the ride in a Bronze Age me-Tarzan you-Jane world.

        Even more interesting, various verses in the Bible reveal fixation with reproduction to the extent that sexual acts not likely to lead to conception are either unclean or sin. This attitude toward women is so ingrained in the Christian tradition that an examination of both 17th century Catholic and Protestant literature reveals the notion that any woman not producing as many children as possible is a murderess! Even as late as the early 20th, white women in the United States were expected to produce at least four children!

        Not surprisingly, the above chauvinism spawned the rise of feminism. The ensuing battle of the sexes on steroids still reverberates on the political campaign trail preceding the 2016 presidential election year. Putting women n their place is also playing out in the war over abortion, morning after pill, birth control, and even how much a woman’s labor in the workplace is worth.

  7. I would have to disagree with at least the first portion of your comment. Paul the apostle said that a couple, after spending time apart seeking to be closer to God, should come back together that they would not be tempted to sin. He didn’t say to come together and make babies.

  8. It’s not that I have daddy issues I never got the chance to know him and I grew up without a mother and therefore was raised by uncles with a perverted mind, so no I don’t have daddy issues I have any issues yes everyone does and anyone that says they don’t is a liar, I have issues with trusting people because I was never able to trust anyone when I was growing up even into my adult years, I’ve been through hell and back again more than you can count on your hands and feet and yes if I so desire for my husband when I get married to spank me then that’s what will happen and that’s my prerogative, if you must know spanking is a way to help me to release my emotions that I still have inside that would be healthier for me if they were let out but I don’t know how to let them out and I tried counselors I’ve tried talking to pastors about it and to no avail. Don’t judge a book by its cover you take time to read that book and get to understand that book before you ever make assumptions on what you think there a reason for doing anything is.

  9. My husband and I have been married 4 years. At one time, I was very disrespectful to him. He would ask me to do my part around the house by keeping it tidy and cook for him a few nights a week. I would just roll my eyes and laugh. He was patient, but I could tell it was slowly emasculating him. He talked me into going to a Christian counselor from his parents church. I listened to what the Pastor had to say. He gave me some Bible verses to read about how women should submit to their husband. I began attending a women’s bible study and they talked about how your husband deserves to be treated and must be treated. I also read Christian books about how important it was for the man to be in charge of everything. I decided to treat him like he was my “Master” and did whatever he asked. My husband loved it and our marriage improved. He wanted to try the DD. There are times when I slip and say or do something that I know was wrong. My husband spanks me when I need to be reminded who is the leader of our home. He has a wooden paddle he bought from a sex toy catalogue; We couldn’t find one in regular stores. It hurts when used on my bare bottom, but it gets the message across. Not often, but now & then I get angry and talk back. His belt is used for those times. He whips til I’m crying hard. He says he knows its painful, but the pain is to help me remember. I’m glad for his guidance and love to help correct my behavior.

      1. Mr. Watts, I know it sounds like abuse. He wouldn’t have to punish me if I wasn’t disobedient. After the deserved spankings & yes, occasional belt lashing, he comforts me. We will read Bible verses about women’s submission to her husband. He loves me enough to follow God’s commands for our married life. God made my husband & you, Joel, leaders! When he corrects my disrespect it’s Biblical. Tonite when he comes home, he & I know I will be whipped b/c I withheld sex from him last night. I was selfish. The Bible states my body is his possession. He could have taken me by force, but didn’t. I, as a woman, know I am to satisfy my husbands sexual needs. He will strip me, have me lie face down on our bed & he will strike me w/ 75 lashes. We AGREED that is a fair amount for my disobedience! He strips me to make me feel the humiliation he felt. Afterward, I will do my wifely duty & satisfy him sexually. I know the pain will be horrific, but I brought this pain on myself.

          1. POE’S LAW:

            “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is uttrerly [sic] impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won’t mistake for the genuine article.”

            Nathan Poe
            August 11, 2005
            http://www.christianforums.com/t1962980-6/#post17606580

            Meanwhile, the problem with trying to outlaw spanking females is fourfold.

            First, longstanding customs typically survive attempts to outlaw them. Blackstone cited the custom of domestic chastisement in his 18th century treatise Commentaries on the Laws of England. The practice was brought to North America by English settlers even before that. There was at least one recorded 17th century sectioning a Massachusetts husband punishing his abusive wife. Although the means were not specified in the written record, chastisement is among the more suspected remedies.

            By the 19th century, legal presidents concerning moderate restraint in the United State waffled. Through the Victorian era and through most of the 20th century, while obvious abuse was usually considered criminal, spanking was at least unofficially permitted. The practice as so widespread that one widely circulated mid-20th century marital counseling texts noted that some wives were willing participants! Therefore, the same text went on to advise professionals to not interfere unless there were extenuating circumstances.

            It was not until after passage of federal equal rights legislation that spanking was reclassified as “domestic violence” – a term that did not exist before the mid-1970s. With no statistical proof to validate the assumption, counselors were nonetheless trained that spanking was a gateway to abuse.

            Second, unlike boys, there is no point beyond which spanking ceases to, temporarily at least, make girls behave themselves. Thus, while more affluent parents manage their older daughters through access to birth control, counseling, lawyers, money, and privileges, less affluent parents still spank their older daughters. Conflicts exist because, as the Bible correctly points out, the rules of the game are written by the rich.

            Until the 1970s, it was fairly common for girls to marry in their teens. (Statistically, this is translates into the difference between average and median age of first marriage for a female cohort.) Prior to that time, it was not uncommon for teenage daughters living at home to still be spanked by her parents. Even girls going to college were not exempted from this parental authority.

            At the same time, early 20th century husbands were typically 3 or 4 years older than their brides. Thus, as the old expression went, these husbands tended to pick up where the girl’s parents left off. While early 21st century females marrying later and being closer to the same age as their husbands has mitigated behavioral problems associated with immaturity, it has not eliminated them. Some wives still expect husbands, as pointed out in Genesis, to literally “rule over” them the old-fashioned way. This may, or may not have anything to do with whether the wife was spanked as a child!

            Third, along with several other socially defining issues, spanking females is more accepted in some cultural and ethnic contexts than it is in others. As always, while there are exceptions, those of Northern European extraction are typically more averse to the practice than are some other demographics. This seems to be particularly true as one moves south and east.

            The above is important because the anti-spanking movement in the United States is largely a late 20th century white phenomenon. As the country approaches the middle of the 21st century, if present trends continue, the influence of the white populace will diminish by supplanting and interbreeding. (As anthropologists noted decades ago, race classification is a cataloging scheme devoid of scientific base. Only recently has the general public begun to reach the same conclusion.)

            Fourth, despite recent attempts to classify spanking as abusive, Christian (fundamentalist), or pornographic, it remains elusive for various reasons. Not all spanked women feel abused. Nor are all couples engaged in the practice conservative, much less Christian fundamentalists. Finally, as with copulation, obscenity is largely in the eyes of the beholder.

        1. Caroline, Jesus would not have him do that to you. He is a kind and loving God. Please read the gospels and see the kind and gentle way He treated women. I’m so sorry you believe you deserve that kind of treatment.

    1. As a Christian myself I find these cdd people’s behavior and coments both embarrassing and disturbing. I wish their websites weren’t plastered all over the internet. It makes Chritians look like a bunch of kooks and does nothing for the cause of Christ.

      1. Wanting to craft the internet to suit one’s tastes seems to be America’s national pastime,

        Commercial radio got into a similar purge binge a few decades ago. The result was Muzak commercials!

          1. When you write:

            “….I find these cdd people’s behavior and coments both embarrassing and disturbing. I wish their websites weren’t plastered all over the internet….”

            I’m seeing an apparent desire on your part to remove CDD content from the web.

            At the same time, I’m saying you are not alone in your desire to delete what you believe to be objectionable content from the web.

            However, if everyone got their way in this matter, content on the internet, would be reduced to insipid at best.

            More disturbing, this on the verge of happening with the loss of net neutrality. Access to that which corporate interests — the same folks responsible for creating the current Congress — find objectionable will be sidetracked into oblivion.

            Once freedom of expression (freedom of speech/press) goes, the rest of First Amendment (freedom of religion, etc.) will soon follow. In time, the whole Bill of Right will be gutted. The rest of The Constitution will soon follow.

            While this is not the place for such a discussion, I would further suggest that if the current crop of corporate conservatives have their way, women will be registering their menses cycle with the government — as was the case in 18th century Prussia!

            In other words, the current fight over abortion and birth control is just the first step to creating a totalitarian government quite literally controlling a woman’s vagina for purposes of breeding!!! Ring-in-the-nose churches are going right along with the program.

            By the way, if you’re trying to figure out the relevance of the above, Prussia’s childhood obedience training provided the paradigm on which American public education is based. That’s why, for example, schoolteachers must be state-approved in order to teach in the classroom.

          2. Good grief know more than I should, my comment has nothing to do with the first ammendment or fairness doctrine. However, if you want to go that direction, isnt it my right to express myself and say I think the practice of wife spanking is stupid and the people who push this stuff on their internet websites make normal Christians look bad?

          3. Sure you’re allowed to express your views on this forum. At one point, Joel Watts said he doesn’t believe in censorship. However, no everyone feels that way.

            Despite his more liberal views in other areas, Pope Francis is one of those wishing to limit freedom of speech.

            On the other hand, as I pointed out, there are consequences to restricting freedom of expression. One of the first things totalitarian regimes try to control is messaging the reaches the masses.

            As the world currently stands, freedom of expression is an endangered species. Severe restrictions exist in China, the Middle East, and through parts of North Africa. Most of the rest of Africa and the former Soviet Union territories have sightly less restrictions. Problems also exist in South and Central America. Only Western Europe and North America remain relatively free.

            The problem is that once the freedom of expression disappears, other freedoms disappear with them. Having lived outside the United States, I am perhaps more aware of these difficulties than are many people.

            One of the things I learned in dealing with inhabitants of the former Soviet Union and those countries under its sphere of influence was a high propensity for deceit. It wasn’t that these individuals were more dishonest than the rest of humanity. They weren’t. Rather it was that they had acquired a necessary survival skill that comes from not being able to be open and honest.

            Because these are conditions in which I do not want to live, I am willing to put up with opinions that annoy me. Yet, it is an all too human trait to want to kill the messenger or forbid the practice rather than to deal with causalities.

            In the case of what current generations call “domestic discipline” – which, except for the name, is certainly nothing new nor confined to conservative Christendom – the underlying issue revolves around basic differences between men and women that evolved into practices insuring domestic tranquility as the institution of marriage and family evolved.

            Research further suggests that predisposition for these interactions may be encoded into the genes of some individuals. Cultural and environmental factors may also be determinate factors.

            This is why, as was the case with religion in the old Soviet Union and the prohibition of alcohol in the United States, they do not go away despite attempts at mass reeducation and sometimes draconian legal restrictions.

          4. I’m not surprised that Pope Francis would make statements against free speach in light of some of the other things he has said. I’m not catholic but I know many cathlics that would disagree with his statements. Once again this has nothing to do with the topic being discussed.
            So, what do you think about christian domestic discipline? Do you think wives should be spanked by men to correct their disobedient or disrepectful behavior?

          5. Many American Catholics disagree with Rome. Among the more contentious issues are birth control and the role of woman in dioceses.

            As for your question, one size does not fit all. As noted earlier, there are extenuating circumstances and causalities. Many are poorly understood. Thus, much like how to spend the money and when to have sex, this is something couples need to work out for themselves.

            It may also be worth pointing out that spanking the wife isn’t always the man’s idea. In fact, some men are quite reluctant to do so despite urgings from the wife to, as one young woman in search of a dominate man once phrased it, “Straighten us out.”

            On the other side of things, which do you believe is more detrimental to society:

            1) Cohabitation, divorce, and single parenting,

            or

            2) Traditional marriages led by men able to exercise authority in their wives and children?

            To be sure there is no correct answer to the above question. As with other things in life, these things boil down to a matter of priorities. Currently, society has concluded that the second option is more dangerous with the first. Still, the final verdict may not be in.

            Statistics reveal that after the rise of women’s rights, and “domestic violence” and “child abuse” became virtually synonymous with spanking, all three elements in the first part of the question began to rise. Concurrently, men began disappearing from homes.

            These days, a little less than half of children in the United States are living without benefit of a father in their lives. Almost an equal number are born to women in cohabiting relationships. Only about one in five households is raising children born to the married couple statistically defining that household.

            For almost the first three-quarters of the 20th century, the divorce rate was less than five percent! At the end of the Victorian Era, it was negligible. These days, on average, marriages only last eight years and the divorce rate is double what it was half a century ago — even more than triple what it was for most of the first half of the 20th century.

            What the combined long term effects of the above may have on the social fabric of society has yet to be fully revealed.

          6. If husbands are physically or emotionally abusing their wives while exercising their headship that can lead to divorce and single parent hood.

          7. Its also unhealthy for children to see their mother being struck. I can tell you that from personal experience. A child living in a single parent home where their mother is safe from abuse is much better than a two parent home where the father is humiliating and striking the mother. What a screwed up living hell that is!!

          8. While I am sorry to hear about your childhood, I cannot help but wonder whether we getting into an apples and oranges caparison?

            Earlier, you asked: “Do you think wives should be spanked by men to correct their disobedient or disrepectful behavior?” Now, your saying: “….mother being struck….father…striking the mother.”

            Within the current context, strike means to hit with something such as a fist or bludgeon. Struck is the past tense of strike.

            Again, within the same context, spank is more narrowly defined as striking the buttocks with an open hand or a flat object such as a paddle for punishment.

            In other words, by implication, a hit or strike can be delivered anywhere to the body. In situations involving IPV, these events are usually spontaneous and delivered in anger.

            On the other hand, according to participants, domestic spankings are typically administered privately — frequently in the bedroom or other private location when children are asleep or absent — and are far less spontaneous in their occurrence. The vast majority of couples participating in domestic discipline seem to go out of their way to keep their children oblivious.

            Also, some research suggest that domestic discipline marriages are decidedly more stable than are those involving acts of domestic violence. These wives seldom, if ever, report calling the police.

            At the same time, it may be worth pointing out that one couple’s discipline and punishment may be someone’s definition abuse. By the same token, one couple’s lovemaking may be someone’s paradigm of rape.

            Wannabe bedroom police exist on both sides of the political spectrum.

            Finally, I would suggest being careful about getting married. Children of divorce and single parenting are more likely to get divorced than are children raised in two-parent households.

            It is all too easy for women raised in these environments to perceive men as the enemy.

            Since women are responsible for about 80 percent of divorce filings, being a product of single-parenting can have a profound effect on a woman’s life. The phenomenon is so widespread that it has made it into psychology texts. It is also a source of friction in the workplace.

            This is an example of what I meant when I wrote that we don’t know how the current social experiment in women’s rights will effect the long-term fabric of society. However, if the case of the former Soviet Union serves as any example, it will not end well for women.

          9. Go to one of their websites where they give instructions on how to properly restrain the “reluctant” wife berfore her “spanking”and note the reminder to the husband to place a towel on his lap in case she loses control of her bladder during the beating and ask yourself if children in the home would actually be unaware that something bad was happening to their mother in the “privacy” of the bedroom! Please note by their own admission they will state this practise is not for sexual gratification but purely for keeping the wife under control. They even suggest so called maintenence beatings done reguarly even if the woman has done nothing wrong just to keep her in her place. This is not fantacy. And yes, being a devorced women would be better than living under that kind of abuse and I WOULD BE BETTER FOR THE CHILDREN to live with their single mother than with such a sick twisted father in a two parent home.

          10. One thing one learns from being both a spouse and a parent is that it is impossible to live other people’s lives for them. Trying to do so simply makes one a busybody and diminishes from one’s own life. Some of the biggest buffoons in the world are parents trying to micromanage their children’s lives.

            The same advice applies to couples. This is what makes wannabe bedroom police such easy fodder for comedy routines and irreverent pundits.

            Another thing worth remembering is, as I have previously noted, prohibitions never work. That was as true of alcohol in the United States as it was for religion in the former Soviet Union. It is likewise true for the currently failed war on drugs.

            The reason is simple: It is impossible to outlaw what people have done over time. Tradition ALWAYS trumps law!

            Men spanking women has been around since long before I was born. Curiously, many of the same arguments used against it today are quite reminiscent of those used by prohibitionists in their late 19th and early 20th century holy war on alcohol.

            For one thing, both originated in the women’s rights movement of their era. They also co-opted male clergy to support the cause and developed a national following.

            If you want a little premier on why prohibitions and wars-on-whatever fail, research the Anti-Saloon League. Once a powerhouse in American politics, even to the point of being able to change The Constitution of the United States for all of 13 year, the organization still exist under another name. Today, however, it is a mere, almost unrecognizable, shadow of its former self.

            In the end, while the Anti-Saloon League won many a battle with booze, it lost the war badly. Worse, the Anti-Saloon League opened the door to organized crime that, among other things, made money exploiting women in the sex trade. Indirectly, the organization also made millionaires out of otherwise petty criminals.

            Likewise, after domestic violence and child abuse became synonyms for spanking, and men began disappearing from the home front, arrests of juvenile females skyrocketed. Girls became noticeably meaner and more violent.

            Although still a minority, divorce nevertheless tends to more than double a child’s risk of developing various cognitive, emotional, and social difficulties.

            The point of the above is that social problems have much in common with a game of Whac-A-Mole. Get rid of one botheration and some consequence pops up to replace it.

          11. I would argue that western countries are losing free speech rights because of political correctness. Would you agree?

          12. That is an excellent question. It’s also one I’ve been asked before — howbeit in a classroom.

            My answer was to draw a horseshoe-like circle on the board with arrows at the terminal ends. I labeled the left side of the circle “Left” and the right side “Right” — referring to both ends of the political spectrum.

            My point was that if one follows either political persuasion to an extreme, one winds up at the same place. Political correctness is merely one method for getting there.

            By the way, political correctness isn’t just a liberal strategy. It can be, as has been, used by both ends of the political spectrum to score political brownie points against opponents.

            Conversely, labeling someone or group as politically correct can be used to achieve the same purpose.

            The reason the above works is that political correctness has no fixed definition. It can be used to defend anyone or entity perceived to be a victim of prejudice — even Wall Street bankers!

  10. It is not supported. I as the wife WANTING this in my marriage and bringing this to my husband when we started over 20 years ago researched churches and still do. I was raised in a CDD home and my parents had the BEST marriage! It is very popular in the UK but it is not particular to ANY religion and the UPCI does NOT support or recognize. If you do not believe me, ask them. Call a few churches and speak to the minister of that church and you will see I am telling the honest truth.

    In Christ,
    Shirley

  11. It is not a Christian S&M site. It is a site for folks that truly believe in Christian Domestic Discipline. It is not about sex but about everyday living. I know this because my husband and I practice. There is no bondage. There is no collars or ball gags or anything like that. We have rules in our marriage and yes, if need be I am disciplined in a very loving nurturing way. It has brought us close together and we NEVER argue and have a great sex life. We cherish our marriage and each other and even if he is upset with something or I have broken a rule and am to be disciplined, again it is always done lovingly and private.

    If you wold like to know more, I would have no problems answering any questions. It is bothersome when folks blast something they have never tried, or even worse form an opinion on something they really know very little about. Again, any questions you would like answered, I will gladly do so. I have NEVER been abused and truly believe in being obedient to my husband. I love that he puts me and our children first and always will. I love that I can go to him with ANYTHING and know he will figure it out. He is a leader by nature and I follow his lead. It is very harmonious to say the least. We have great marriage, lots of love in our home and do conduct a Bible study in our home. While this is not practiced at large, there are a few members of our church that believe in CDD as well and do practice. Again, if you have the facts and post, then so be it, but I kind of felt beaten up after reading this and really wanted to correct the Christian S&M comment!!

    Best wishes on where ever life leads you.

    In Christ,
    Shirley Stanley

  12. Thanks Mrs. Shirley Stanley for sharing your thoughts on CDD I’m not married yet and I know that I will in the future and thought that I was wierd for wanting this quality in my future husband only because of the trust issues I have and sometimes I can get a little out of hand I am 30 now and sometimes wish that I could get spanked to help me stay on track and focused you have helped me a lot with just sharing your testimony

  13. As Matthew 7:1 points out, judgmentalism can be a two-edged sword.

    A decade ago, sociology professor Ken Ferraro published research finding a statistical correlation between religious faith and excessive body mass index (BMI). In other words, faith and fat go together. More recently, biopsychology professor Nigel Barber concluded that not only are atheists brighter than believers, eventually atheism will replace religion in number of adherents.

    Given the above, does this mean you cling to religion because you’re fat, stupid, and an evolutionary dead end?

  14. Abuse is in the eyes of the beholder in a nation where, in some jurisdictions, even slamming a door can be construed as abusive.

    More to the point, your pat pulpit pabulum isn’t all the different from a Catholic nun informing parochial students that homosexuality is caused by weak fathers when, truth be told, no one is quite sure what causes it. (After word got out, the diocese had the good sense to remove the nun from her instructional duties.) As a medical doctor once explained – absent his more explicit language – no one suddenly wakes up one morning with an urge to have a penis shoved up their rectum!

    Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of social sciences is aware that human behavior is much too complex to be adequately explained by single causalities that, all too often, are the modern equivalent of “He hath a devil.” Those buying into simplistic explanations usually wind up looking like fools a few generations later. A hundred years ago, some of the more radical elements in the temperance crowd blamed wars on alcohol. More recently, some less cerebral opponents of spanking children blamed the practice for school shootings.

    Given the above, it behooves advice givers and decision makers to keep in mind what United States judge and judicial philosopher Learned Hand once observed about error. Beginning with a famous quote from Oliver Cromwell, the judge said: “‘I beseech ye in the bowels of Christ, think that ye may be mistaken.’ I should like to have that written over the portals of every CHURCH, every school, and every courthouse, and, may I say, of every legislative body in the United States. I should like to have every court begin, I beseech ye in the bowels of Christ, I think we may be mistaken.” (Emphasis added.)

    At best, merely telling a young woman that she has “daddy issues” is the intellectual equivalent of gay therapy. It’s a way of patronizingly admonishing her, “Get over it.” Even if true, which I have no way of knowing one way or the other, the simplistic labeling offers her no insight into how to go about dealing with her desire. More disturbingly, the brushoff reminds me of the (with what I’m really thinking here omitted) draft-dodging pastoral counselors telling recently returned and unemployed Vietnam veterans to stop whining and get a job. Now, after Iraq and Afghanistan, most sane counselors know better than to dispense such simplistic advice.

    Much as you may disagree, the best therapy for the presumably young woman to whom responded may be to get herself spanked by a fiance or husband that really cares about her. (I frankly admit I don’t know because I know neither her nor her situation.) In any case, it’s her choice (as in pro-choice) rather than yours.

  15. Church history clearly proves that the Bible can be used to justify many practices that others find objectionable. Probably among the best examples is 17th century British politics.

  16. As with locking criminals up and throwing away the key (the current criminal justic e model), society needs to differentiate between that which is truly harmful or dangerous, and that with which it disagrees.

    For example, while I personally oppose recreational drug use and would just love to get rid of the stuff (including tobacco), statistical analysis reveals mass incarcerations for smoking pot are far more damaging to society actual pot smoking. For example, recent crime statistics released by the City of Denver shows a decided DECREASE in most categories of both property and violent crime since that city’s governing board legalized recreational marijuana sales. Only one category of theft went up. Everything else decreased!

    Not covered by the Denver statistics is an most likely decrease in costs associated with arrest and booking, pretrial detention, court costs, prison costs (which, on a per annum basis for long-term inmates, rival costs associated with annual tuition costs at an exclusive private college)!

    By the way, I can’t find that verse in the Bible that explicitly forbids child molestation. Neither can I find the one specifically prohibiting a man from spanking his wife!

  17. yes, but you can find verses condoning rape.

    I am not a biblicalist. My morals and ethics are drawn from Scripture, but move past it.

    Oh, and the verse about millstones… the rabbis used that against child molesters.

  18. While it’s your choice to make the accusation, the difference is that her practices does not impinge on your right to not spank your wife any more than homosexual marriage adversely affects heterosexual marriage. (At least, so far as I can tell, gay marriage hasn’t ruined the marriage to my wife of several decades.) On the other hand, labeling is little more than high-class playground name calling.

  19. Howbeit from a different source, I read about this a day or two ago. Gohmert reminds me of a town drunk being elected to town council and not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

  20. When you have time, you might want to watch the controversial documentary Are All Men Pedophiles?

  21. Neither will you find verses specifically condemning the latter. As for the former, although implications can obviously be made, the Bible is silent.

    Simply put, perhaps because it is largely a product of the Bronze Age, the Bible does not answer every conceivable question asked by humankind. There are simply those things which individuals must resolve for themselves.

  22. No the Bible doesn’t answer every conceivable question. I’m a Christian myself and I wonder if God doesn’t look at some of the things being pushed in some churches and shake his head and wish we would stop acting like idiots and use some common sense.

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